i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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