seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
