community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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