whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
