If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
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