no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
