I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
