I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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