I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Oh god it's open bar.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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