you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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