y did u give ur computer a hand job?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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