Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
