She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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