he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
