I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
