Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
