All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
