the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
