She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize