She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
