I love black thongs
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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