the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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