it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
