Buhtt sex?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
