please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
