Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm always down for nudity.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
