We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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