we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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