I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
