i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
