i need an iv and a liver transplant
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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