how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
