I wish i was in the wii world.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
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The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
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I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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