he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
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Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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