we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
