You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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