i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
