This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
