woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
