marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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