i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
