gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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