And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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