This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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