my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
