i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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