On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
