So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Bring me that man meat
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize