I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
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His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
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I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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