yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
