You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
