just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
