you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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