he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
