FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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