We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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