And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
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besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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