Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
