She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I have post one night stand depression
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
