I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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