i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
