what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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