what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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