what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
